PENGE po'ng ISANG DAAN

"Tay! penge po pera! :D" masaya at positibong sabi nya.

"Saan mo gagamitin ang pera?" sagot ng nauna.

Ano na nga ba ang mabibili o kayang i.avail ngayon sa isandaan? Gumawa tayo ng listahan. (uhhhhhhm. pasensya na nag.iisip lang)

• isandaang kendi at lollipop (tingnan natin kung di rereklamo sweet tooth mo)
• dalawang meal sa karinderia ni Mang Isko
• sampung beses na pamasahe sa jeep
• pambili ng tatlong Precious Hearts Romance (PHR) na pocketbooks (P35 yung isa, me kulang ka pang P5 - utang nalang muna pero dapat marunong kang magbayad ah?)
• pitong oras sa internet cafe ni Manang Sekwang
• AT MARAMI PANG IBA!!!  (kayo na bahalang dumagdag. baka abutin kasi tayo ng kailan man kung lahat na ilalagay natin) :P

Alam ko andami niyo pang naiisip na pwedeng mabibili sa isandaan na pera. Pero hindi talaga yun ang gusto kong bigyan ng tuon. (pasensya na at niligaw ko pa kayo ng sandali sa totong paksa. HAHAHA.)

Ganito kasi yun! Pasukan na naman diba? Syempre naman kahit papaano, sana may bago kang gamit na pwede mong isuot o para man lang maging komportable ka sa pagpasok sa skwela. Yun yun eh! Tapos wala pala. (ang saklap ng buhay dito na linya. 911 nalang?) 

Apat (4) na taon na akong studyante sa tertiary school ng Ateneo de Davao University. Ngunit simula palang nung elementarya pa ako ay di ako sinanay na dapat may mga bagong gamit talaga pag pasukan kaya naman labis ko namang ikinatuwa ang pagtungtung ko sa kolehiyo kasi baka magbago yung ganun na estilo na nakasanayan ko lalo na kasi sa skwelahan ko eh uso yung tinatawag na "peer pressure". (lintik nga naman na peer pressure to! gagawin pa akong high blood).

Yun nga! pagpasok ko ng first day sa skwelahan nung first year pa ako, bagong uniform, bagong sapatos, bagong bag, bagong kagamitan, bago lahat! Ansarap pala sa pakiramdam. Parang nanalo ka ng lotto na kids edition sa tuwa. :D (pero college na ako nun! isip bata lang talaga siguro ako.) Pero di naman nagtagal yung ganung feeling kasi sa sunod na pasukan, recycled na lahat ng gamit ko. Wala ng bago. (saklap na naman. hahaahah). Pero ok lang yun sabi ko. Wala naman ding masama sa mga recycled na gamit basta maayos pa at pwede pang gamitin.

Kaya nga lang. papatayin ka sa ingit ng mga kaklase mo sa mga bago nilang dala na ipagmamayabang nila! (NAKU!!! Pag nakita ko talaga yan si INGIT, hindi ko na pakakawalan sa sakal yan! haha).  Ayun! buong taon kong sinubukang ipikit ang mga mata ko sa mga bagay na meron sila. (bad din kasi yung nagseselos ka sa iba sabi sa BIBLE). 

Akala ko yun na yung pinaka masaklap. Meron pa palang baon ang Gods of suffering! Dobleng tiis ako pagdating ng 3rd year kasi recycled na naman lahat ng gamit ko. (anak ng buhay na totoy nga naman!). Uy! pero nalagpasan ko yun ah? diba nga 4th year na ako. :D

Last na yun sabi ko! Pero na naman! may "MAS" pa pala sa "PINAKA"? (mali ata yung teacher ko sa pagtuturo sa akin ng comparative at superlative noon). Kaya tayo dumating sa-

"Tay penge pong pera!"  :)))

"San mo gagamitin ang pera?"

"Pambili lang po ng medyas kasi sira sira na po yung medyas ko" (sa puntong eto eh medyo positibo akong pagbibigyan ako. Sana nga lang. Kahit bagong medyas lang po bago ako grumadweyt!)

"Ok sige. Ipapadala ko nalang sa atm mo bukas"

"YES!!! napatalon ang ulirang recycler! (haha.walang basagan ng reaksyon) "Tay! magkano po ba budget ko pambili ng medyas?"

"P100 nak." -------  0.o (speechless ako)

 "Hangang recycle nalang yata talaga ako!" "Ok lang. nga naman nakakatulong pa ako ke inang kalikasan". Yun nalang nasabi ko sa sarili ko. Pero deep inside di ko na alam kung matatawa ba ako o mag.uuramentado sa sobrang EWAN!

Yun po! Hangang ngayon di pa ako nakakabili ng bagong medyas. HAHA. Patuloy nalang sa pagpasok sa skwela. Kaya kung makikita nyo ako sa skwela. Please lang! Sa mukha nalang kayo tumingin at wag na sa may bandang baba ng katawan para di nyo makita ang secret kong medyas na naging katuwang ko na ng almost 4 years na.

P.S  -Sa mga nakakarelate. Goodluck sa mga hihingiin niyo sa parents niyo! :D

P.S.S  -alam ko medyo exag ang ibang statement. haha. bye! bye! :P

CLICK THE TITLE BELOW AND LISTEN TO A MUSIC WHILE READING THE ARTICLE!!!

SCARED TO DEATH

It's not that I can tell you that I'll miss you and I love you now that I'm lying in a coffin. -but I seriously still want to.

It all started with a "hi" and sometimes I feel that it's so magical how a word could create such deep connections later on. Connections that will be cherished forever. The funny thing is I cannot do it anymore. Not anymore.

To all the good times we had, we never failed to paint smiles on our faces at the end of the day. To the point that I can't even imagine how I'll do something on my own because whenever I do things with you, it just feels so perfect like nothing is gonna go wrong.

Troubles come, troubles go. It's just how it happens. We withstand the test and set the barricades of love for us to enjoy and be happy of. -but what is it now? In my case, I better wish that I was heartbroken yet able to see you from afar but how is it that mine is both heartbroken and not beating at the same time? :(

However, I wonder how it feels on your side. I bet it's not easy as well. Seeing me close up, hands on the furnished wood carved into a box like rectangle and liquids pouring down your pink cheeks. It must hurt too. So much when you imagine that one minute ago I was standing by your side and then one minute after, I'm gone. Gone to the depths of the void and I cannot come back. I know I cannot come back even if I try to do anything!

Death cut me short, and now depriving me of loving you more. Hoping that the things I shared with your life would give me the privilege of extending my love for you. I'll remain. -even though i have to let you go now. it should be that way.

"Scared to death" was all I could ever think when I was still on your side though it proved me wrong because "Scared of not being able to love you" is what matters more. Sorry if I realized it too late. 

Now I have to go. Alone. Without you. -goodbye!

P.S  Darn! I'm almost out of words for this! It really hurts even though you're not really the one in the situation. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I'LL SAY THAT YOU CAN GO OUT OF WORDS DESCRIBING LOVE. Before I thought that people who says something like this are over reacting but I'll eat my words now. In fact, I just ate it! Life is so fragile to be wasted. We could never know when they'll go. I couldn't help but think about how I would feel after that very second that a loved one would lose the very last heartbeat of their life coz' you'll know after that, you could never ever see, hear, or touch them. Ever again! Yet, they say LIFE cannot be completed without DEATH. May be true but heck it's one hard truth to accept.

I THINK NOW WE KNOW WHAT TO DO? Go then coz I'll do mine!!! 

YOU AND ME

A kid is what I was before

Still exploring and learning for more

Played and tried almost all of the games

Even toyed with the dangerous flames

And all those times you were there with me

Creating keepsakes just letting us be

Closing my eyes, I prayed that it would last forever

The memoirs of playing, crying, and laughing together

But time warped time so fast indeed

We are now adults who have to lead

Yet somehow I remember those old good moments

 Experiences of goodness, no room for torment

Now we're old and we can barely stand

But we still have each other, your hand in my hand

We look at each other with memories of yesterday

This fuels us to live the most out of it today

I guess after all fate led you to me

And this story for a book will forever be

Even for our next generations to witness and see

Will always be you and me

P.S This poem is dedicated to my LOLO and LOLA who up until now loves each other so much. I've witnessed how they love and do special things and surprises when they were still younger. For the record, my LOLO didn't have any issues about having a mistress according to his four children including my mother. Recently, my LOLA got wounded by her shoes and being a diabetic, wounds heal abnormally and sometimes do not heal at all but fortunately for my LOLA, my LOLO did all the work of disinfecting and dressing the wound up to heal it faster even though his back hurts and his eyes are blurry. He wouldn't even let my sisters and brother do it for him because he would still want to serve my LOLA even only in that way. (getting emotional while typing here!) And the healing sessions lasted for almost 2 months and I didn't hear a single sigh of regret and complain from him (that is just one of the many scenarios that shows how they protect and honor the most important wealth for them which is each other). Soooo yeah, that's how they treasure each other and I just find it very touching and surreal. I just want to live the kind of life that they've traveled together. I MEAN WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO EXPERIENCE SOMETHING LIKE THAT EI?

LOVE: the paradox of survival

We hear the word LOVE so much like it is a household item. And as what I observed is that somehow, the word "love" fails to express the underlying feeling in it which is LOVE.

"I love you!". If I may quote from the song CHASING CARS of Snow Patrol,"those three words are said too much, they're not enough". From the obvious meaning of it, those words that we're very special before  did perhaps lose it very core of expressing deep emotions for someone. And maybe LOVE itself is slowly decreasing its worth on todays view.

As I watched a play earlier entitled KPKK (Kapunongan sa mga Pangulo sa Kadautan sa Kalibutan) For those who doesn't know, KPKK is a literature play showing how the evil shows their prowess and reign the world over love (GUGMA died on the last part). The story revolves there. Which I was a part of 3 years ago, and it made me realize how I developed my level of understanding because back when I was a part of the play, I didn't see something special about it. I'm just there to perform for my grade. But just earlier as I was there as an audience, realizations came flooding me to the point that ideas were like popcorns that pops out of the cauldron. My mind shouted "I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START!". All I know is that my ideas needed to go out and have form maybe because I'm afraid that reality of some sort will kick in.

As I watched GUGMA (love) being punished by opposing forces broke my heart. Not because the one who played the role is a close friend of mine but because my mind was wondering further of what was really happening for that moment. My vision showed me a picture of what was happening inside the classroom in relation to the events that are really happening on a bigger scale. In the real world, the seven deadly sins causes so much mischief and chaos for they work 24/7 without fail (let's talk in a general sense) and I do wonder how LOVE would be able to keep them at bay. What are her ways? that I don't know. . .

Are we really facing a world of secularism now where love is a paradox, when LOVE is only shown when misfortunes happen when in fact it should exist for the sole reason of being there independently (e.g we only help other people when they are in their deathbed or almost). However, even if it seems like a very big problem, I know that there is still that spark within us which sustains the burning light of love in the deepest corner of our hearts. And that spark is what we should propagate and spread like wildfire to change the current situation we are in. The fact that LOVE is fighting alone those who try to oppose her is a huge reminder how powerful LOVE is.

And concerning the issue that the words "I love you" is not enough to express the feeling of those who say it is sort of futile for me. According to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.". Therefore, if it is really LOVE, the words "I love you" would be more than enough because LOVE resonates from within and what's within will show naturally.

LOVE is there. LOVE is evident. And LOVE is what brought us to being.

FAMILY: LOVE in DISTANCE

The alluring beauty of sacrifice because of LOVE may sometimes remain unseen yet it'll pierce through everything when you learn to appreciate it.

Clothes inside dark rectangular boxes, ticket and passport checked, plane is on the wait, emotions of the heart is settled not settled perhaps but within any circumstance, she has to go. I'll miss her. I'll miss you. With tears in my eyes I watched the plane took off and went outside of country taking her away. And from that moment on, I knew that I'll not be seeing her for a while. Time will play it's role again.

Moments happened here and who knows what kind of life she's living there. Sleepless nights, frostbites, homesickness, financial problems, calamities (like the strong earthquake that hit NEW ZEALAND that killed several people back then) and I'm sure there are lots more behind those happy and joyful pictures that she is posting on her social sites and between those cheeky grins on her face that skype shows. Which makes people think about all sort of possible things. Both optimistic and pessimistic. However, she constantly says that they shouldn't be bothered, but how can they not be when all they do is care for a special person who eluded their sight for almost 3 years now and I know that she knows that.

I know it's existent before, the love and the care that I have for her because she set a foundation of it. I remembered the stories that she told me when I was about to sleep and ironically she fell asleep first hahaha (makes face), those smelly saliva that remains on every part of my face when she bit me specially on my cheeks (ewwww, so gross), and all those little big fights of me and her that ended up with a hug (oh I reminisced that fight when you threw a chair on me). Now, I do say that when miles and several hours is in between you, to mention financial incapacity of course makes you feel something deeper of what you already have felt. Yeah I loved her and I loved her even more.

Tonight (May 19,2013) I saw again her tears. Not of sorrow but of happiness and longing when she skyped with her Lolo and Lola. It's pretty evident that they missed her as well coz of course they all missed you. Considering the fact that she sacrificed so many things to put her family first that even some scenarios that should have already happened in her life remained unexplored. It is such a great blessing. She is a blessing. No one could ever wish for a better someone to be a part of their family. I just wish that balanced with that selflessness is also the love for herself because I and they also want the best for you.

Indeed distance makes love grow fonder (cosider philia love) and I was pierced right through. Now all I want is one thing. To see her once more and hug her sooo tight that her bones are gonna break (hahaha. kidding). And instead of "I'll miss her, I'll miss you", I'll say "I MISSED HER, I MISSED YOU!

And by the way, the "HER" in this article is APRIL LEM LERIN ANDIT. My beloved sister who knows nothing but to show her unending passion of loving us (her family) all.

FRIENDSHIP: TREASURED <3

Not a fashion blogger. That's for sure. Wearing a white shirt from oxygen and with the help of my close friend Ralston (a.k.a DODONG) who rolled up the sleeves and whala! viola! It's like I'm wearing a muscle shirt :)  Don't get deceived I'm pretty skinny in real life (still have to work on my kilos). Anyways, I just cherish that day (May 16, 2013) because during that funshoot with him, we talked about things that only the two of us could fully understand and enjoy even though we didn't take a picture together that day (hahahaha). Yeah I love that friend of mine. We went through ups and downs. We were given the privilege of time to get to know each other and to be there when somebody needs someone. In one of our many misunderstandings, he transformed a portion of our school into a deadly area for me to come by (that's F513 the humanities division, for those from ATENEO) but even that, our friendship grows stronger with the trials and problems that we managed to get through as a foundation. Relationships for me is one of the most lasting thing on earth (just in case you could think of anything else) because relationships are meant to last. It need not be a romantic relationship to last for forever. Think for example the relationship you have with your parents and we could prove right away without hesitation that it would last for a lifetime. Now going back to friendships, I treat that certain kind of relationship a home outside home. If I may quote "FRIENDS ARE LIKE ELEVATORS, THEY BRING YOU UP BUT SOMETIMES THEY BRING YOU DOWN TOO". I scratched that part because I believe that in that setting, you found not a friend but a malicious individual with a mind of a crab. And that kind of person doesn't deserve the blessing of a friend. We mingle and we talk to people who eventually becomes our friend and we make memories with them. All sorts. And at the end of our time, those memories will haunt us in a good way that would remind us of how we put life into our short years.  :)))

Photographed by: Ralston San Pedro (a.k.a DODONG)

Visit his blog through this link --> http://ralzsanpedro.blogspot.com

HE CHANGED FOR ME

He changed for me

From this day on let it be

A different person will emerge

For different people to diverge

Shadows that haunt him was buried yesterday

So he doesn’t have to fear any of today

Unusual things will be obvious

Soon his old self will be oblivious

And then one day you’ll have to miss him

And find the old self in him

But he won’t be there where you expect him to be

Because he is new and have been set free

Bear in mind that he changed for me

And solely for the benefit of me

However, he also needs to give you credit

Coz’ his change seems to be legit

For those who let go of him while he is at his best

I thank you for you gave him rest

But there is just one line that I have to say

“Regrets and repentance is at the end of the day”

- Yesterday I was talking about being hurt and coping up with the burden that you feel inside. This poem right here would be its sequel for that part at least (those who successfully eluded its grasp). My perspective about this is --- the main reason why a person changes overtime in terms of personality, character, and attitude whether consciously or not  is because that person realized that he has to value and love himself more (not to the point of being narcissistic) but just learning how not to be the underdog. After all in most cases, you'll shift to something new because there is a triggering factor for you to do so. Speaking of change, the phrase "version 2.0" is so common and is widely used to determine or send the signal that you've already changed and is living a life different from the one that you have before. However, being in this state for me has its downturns as well because you might get cocky or overconfident of your change that you tend to go overboard with it #real talk! So you just have to go to the basics of balancing everything. Just stay on the positive side of your change, get the most out of it, and be happy. COGRATULATIONS!!! enjoy :)))  

P.S If the reason for your change is a person, go thank that individual now for helping you find the better you.

WOUNDED HEART

I was hurt thrice today

By simple words they shouldn’t say

It set a wound right through my heart

This in me shall never part

Every minute I’m living my way

I’m here to learn and not to play

But my wounded heart keeps me away

From my emotions I want to portray

Sometimes I cry to my heart’s content

Believing that it would set me free

But I was proven wrong

The reminisced emotions was always strong

I wonder when it would end

Hoping that one time I don’t have to pretend

I guess I have to carry it all along

And accept that this wounded heart would last for long

- I made this poem for like a year ago already. It's kind of my hobby to write when such in a mood of solitude specially having my lone time. This is a realization for me as to how sometimes individual becomes tactless and just say everything without second thoughts and by that, sometimes not even realizing that they are hurting other people's feelings which eventually in worst case, they'll (the poeple who got wounded) bring it as a bad memory for the rest of their life perhaps. Some might try to cope up with the feeling that burdens them and some are lucky to escape its grasp. However, "some" means not all. So there are still those who suffer its torment day by day. To evaluate back in the kind of setting and taking this into a general sense, sometimes words just jumps out of our mouth especially when emotions are kicking in. Maybe for us it's just words, but for the person who heard them, it might be a nightmare (vise versa). And now in the perspective of the person who wants to cheer up an emotionally wounded person. We never know how they feel. We might understand somehow but never ever feel the same way.